MSF - Médicines Sans Frontieres. Turned a corner, there they were.
What's my purpose? Dan Gould laid it before me, cryptically, portentously, to be unfurled in the future.
You're questioning, questioning, questioning. Which projects, which treatments? What resonates? What is your destiny?
Well, to answer the latter, your destiny is shaped by any given moment's thoughts, words and actions manifest, habits in turn, leading to character in to said destiny.
So be mindful of your thoughts, or make them grand, and your greatest vision of oneself.
What project is going to flow out of An Imperfect Offering?
It needn't be unearthed on this trip. Perhaps the omens yesterday cast glorious rays on to your broader path. Now firstly, before going further, let's call in to recollection the sentiments of the previous post. Who you are is a creation of Now, not what you will be one day. Keep remembering that, for that is a sound sentiment and foundation of ZEN after all.
Then what are you, in this very moment, and what were you in the moment of revelation before the MSF-emblazoned beauties?
You're a filmmaker with a deep well of empathy, a passion for sustainable development.
Quit worrying about 'your destiny', and create it via your thoughts, words, actions and habits. Be deliberate in EVERY SINGLE MOMENT. That's the gift you've been given, and the gift you have to give.
You have a mission, which is to relieve the world of its suffering. You must do that via your films. You have a remit to do so, ordained by God. It's true. In your conversations with God, could it be any clearer? Are you ignoring any omens?
Can we review which omens you may be overlooking?
Trying to make money from filmmaking. As surely money is temporal and you can't take it with you. The Lord provides.
Seeing the world is great, but carbon dioxide-emitting travel hurts Nature.
The space in which you occupy sustainable development and its corresponding Goals is one of learning. The manner in which you apply your knowledge will rear itself via the manner in which you lead your life as well as, hopefully, through some form via your stories, albeit shrouded in a more abstract guise.
To summarise, to keep your two passions separate? Nej. To maintain an ongoing tension between the two to forever be navigated, making an artform of the dance to reconcile.
Will you be a hero? That's contingent on the thoughts, views, whims or otherwise of others. 'Others' are neither important to monitoring your progress, nor can their attitudes be controlled. It's a vain objective, because they can merely be influenced. Your own task is within the skin and soul of yourself, inclusive of any opportunities that present to extend that soul to those whom you connect.
This forever will be a spiritual dance. It can only be. You must follow your bliss, as much as that's possible, to further oneself. I'm more than content to invest all my hopes and dreams in to following my bliss, and hoping for the best in the outcome.
It is FOLLY to project oneself in to the future as 'movie star'. It's an honourable enough vocation and aspiration, certainly, but...it's so future-oriented as to completely mitigate the current situation before you. It's actually made you mentally ill. I understand you needed to model yourself upon a vision of what you wanted to be, but that's concrete now. It's deep within your bones. You can let it go, and it'll probably still be there.
Movie stardom is a commodity cultivated by the studios and celebrity gossip magazines peddling ragged paper and cheap ink.
Just live the life you want to live in EVERY SINGLE GIVEN MOMENT. What else could be more important? Yeah, sure, be ambitious, but not at the expense of the moment/s before you. As what comes of that? One thing. Years upon years of 'not being here'. Not investing your energy and focus where it ought to be, and leaving you with a bullshit foundation frankly.
Forget the fuckin' movies you'll make in five or ten years time. It's fun to think about, but there's little good trying to improve oneself and marginalising a growth mindset by being off with the fairies. You are 30-fucking-years-old. Ridiculous. Quit this shit!!
What you've been doing the past 30 years is what you'll likely be doin' the next 30. You're not gettin' any better, so drop it. The talents or knowledge or skills you do possess - they're set in stone! Of course in reality they'll develop, but you must understand, you're essentially fully-formed.
Life will remain a glorious mystery, and thank goodness for that. But, Christ's sake, you're done. You're fully-cooked.
Are you at this point a great actor? Nein. Very knowledgable and passionate about sustainable development? Yes, definitely. A good screenwriter? Not especially. But are you a good producer, in the sense you get it over the line? Yeah, definitely. A definite leaning toward comedy? Yuh-huh. Do people seem OK with you being on-screen? Yes, and I want to be there anyhoo.
Knowledgable with film? Yes, I'd certainly say so, 100%. So your knowledge is by far the most well-cultivated. Definitely. I'm most talented at reading and writing. They're my definite clear talents. My empathy and ability to listen is #1 however. The most valuable.
Crafting a story or a screenplay? A bit less, methinks. But I must pursue anyway. Perhaps you just always need a partner-in-crime to tidy up after you.
You have a lot to offer. Looking at everything like this, you actually have cultivated a lot.
Acting's the jack in the pack. The Unknown. The performative. It lurks, it's your darkness. And you know why? Because you're a phenomenal dancer.
After your empathy, which is inate, one and the whole with you, your talent is your knowledge and reading/writing. You're in the head.
With enough preparation, an acting role can be yours too. 300 hours.
You couldn't be like Russell Brand. You simply haven't cultivated that on-stage persona well-enough. C'est la vie, 'twas not to be. Hey, hey, hey! Wait up! You have! What about all that on-screen time with GCTV? 50 hours of live telly, thank you very much!
That didn't distinguish you as a comedian though. Even on NR, you were empathic well before comedic. That's the position you occupy in this world. Would you rather be larrikin or empath?
Then cherish the empath within. Feed him, nourish him, adore him. I no longer care to be a 'comedian'. I'll forever have a passion for comedy, but that can most certainly be manifest through the channels of producing and acting.
I think your issue is you don't write all that great for the screen. You write for the page, which perhaps makes you more suitable for the small screen, but I do think you have the capability to pen for the silver screen also. Small is beautiful though. You need to stake a reason to write for cinema.